Well, we have been living in the RV for almost 2 months now and I have not traveled anywhere but to my friends yard in Gig Harbor. I wanted a slower paced life, and that is exactly what I have gotten. Maybe it is time to rephrase what I want! I feel like time is moving quickly and I am snailing along. I have had so much change in the last year that my mind is still trying to process it all. It is leaving me stressed and grumpy. To those reading, and not reading, this I want to apologize if  my actions have hurt any of you in some way, it was never my intention, and I thank you for being part of my growth. My whole goal with this change was to break away from societal ways of being. What I am starting to realize is that I am basically going from one society to another. The definition it itself states that a society is the aggregate of people living together in a more or less ordered community. I by no means under the sky want to be alone in the mountains somewhere hiding away until my dying days, I want people, I want family and friends. I want to be surrounded by love and laughter. Which places me in a place where there are people. A society of gypsies, yes, this is my reality, this is the exact phrasing of what I want. All of my failed romantic relationships, housing plans, schools, etc. Have all been messages from my inner self that I am not on the “wave” that my soul pulses to. But, I have been afraid to be alone, afraid to be happy, this is the cold hard truth. Now I find myself in a place where I have begun to take those steps to living my life, making those dreams, no longer dreams, but my reality. Like a great friend told me, trying destroys lives, trying keeps dreams as dreams, you must do! Even if you fail, it is not a failure, you have just found another way it doesn’t work. I have taken the first step, left conventional box living, to less conventional wheeled box living! But, the steps are not over. I have some very scary steps coming upon me within the next few weeks. My parents, whom I adore, whom I love and look up to more than they will ever know, are moving next week! I am so happy for them, they have been my support and have helped me heal from so much of my life’s traumas. They helped me save my life. They say, in life, that if you want a different outcome you can’t do the same thing. My different way of doing things is now not running home, but only visiting. It is time to start facing fears and realizing that I can, and will, rely on myself. I am not saying that other’s will not play a role in helping us, but more of a “standing on my own two feet” if you will. I know I can live in an apartment, keep a job, pay my bills, etc. I have done that, I just came from that. Now, I need to see that I can do this as well. Travel, love, and live…. Have my family with me, even though we are miles apart. Have my beautiful sister traveling by my side. My precious niece exploring the forests with Cardin. My Momma and Daddy by my side during this spirit quest. Everyone who has helped and loves us, with us. I am realizing that this is what is holding me back, scaring me from moving on, I need to realize that I am not leaving. I am simply moving… and that everyone is always with me, and that I can always come home. I truly believe that I am where I am at for a reason. Time to start listening to the Universe and my intuition and get things flowing 🙂 I am grateful for so many things, I honestly have more things to be grateful for than not. Time for the focus on gratefulness. My posts will begin to become more regular now 😀 I am going to blog every Monday, no more slacking 🙂 I love you all!!!

One thought on “The Good, The Bad, The Happy, The Sad

  1. My loving daughter and grandson, I’m so glad for you to be starting this life you have dreamt of, I will worry (it is a Momma thing) about you two as you travel, I’ll be excited for all you will discover of this world (spiritual, physical and emotional), I will be jealous that you are so happy & I’m not there physically to see your faces and giggles, BUT I’m also a spiritual being in this physical body AND will be with you every minute, every discovery, every fear – telling you go ahead you can do it! – every disappointment – reminding you this is another lesson go with it! – and giving you hugs that you may need or not need (cause we love hugs). Your Daddy & I love you two so very much!!! You know where we are so you can always come for a visit and those much needed physical hugs. Heck, maybe we’ll travel to you – it could happen:) Go spread those wings you two and fly as high & as far as you can! But please don’t forget to fly back to us time to time:) Love you always, Momma

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