A little off of what I wanted my next blog to be about. I was going to try and do my Seattle to Riverside post before this but, well, life just doesn’t really work like that!
My whole life I have been more concerned with what others thought of myself instead of what I thought of myself. Whenever I go through a huge transition I cut my hair very short, and then I feel ugly. It is almost a version of self mutilation for me. I sit here pondering life and what I believe and how I am trying to grow my hair out so it can look all pretty. I almost shaved my head a few years ago. I am contemplating it again, but this time differently. I am doing it as a sort of spirit journey. A rebirth, by letting go of what others think I can find strength in myself. In my own beauty. I am so scared to let go of my hair, it is silly really. The truth is I don’t want to be ugly, I feel ugly with short hair. And I hate the feeling that others will ridicule me. I have struggled with the view points of others for a long time and I have changed so much of myself to “make myself prettier”. Time for a focus within, no more hiding behind my hair, so to speak 😉
Love to you all,