Meeting Family

Where does a girl even begin! Long sad history short, the last time I met my father’s side of the family I was 2, and I met my father for the first time since I was 2 about 4 years ago. The biggest reason for coming to California was to be able to meet the family that was denied to me growing up. I am honestly having difficulty in expressing how happy this re-union was for me, and sad. I have honestly delayed in writing this because I have so many un-resolved feelings and I am not sure how to deal with them, or how to express them. I will start in the order I met them 🙂

Uncle Darius 🙂 I was so nervous to meet him, I only knew him on FB and we had never talked. I didn’t know if he would hate me, if he was mean, etc. haha He was and is the sweetest man I have ever met! I enjoyed sitting there chatting with him about our lives. He was the only person from this side of the family that I had ever had a picture of as a child. Next I met my Aunt Daria, cousins Barry and Dariel, and my 2nd cousins (Barry’s girls) …. bah! I can’t remember their names! I hope they can forgive me! I was so nervous, I didn’t know what to say or to do. I think I just stood there and didn’t say anything, I was overwhelmed and part of me just wanted to hug them all forever and not let go. I think that little girl inside of me that hid away a long time ago is starting to come out of hiding and into healing. My Aunt Daria was beautiful, kind, and funny. My cousins were the same. I am still trying to figure out exactly how to express what I am feeling here, the clearest feeling I have had is this hatred toward my mother. And I have been running from it instead of dealing with it. She took us away from such loving people, to keep us in places where she and others abused us. I have disliked my mother but never truly hated her. Hate is such a strong emotion and it scares me. The past cannot be changed and I need to let it go. Because after all, it can’t be changed.

Well, I just wanted to give a quick little insight into what I have been dealing with and share in the excitement with you as I get to meet my family!! As I am able to further gather my feelings into coherent sentences I will write some more about my wonderful family. I just need to “process” everything a little more 🙂 To my family reading this, I love you all and I am so happy that you are in my life again!

~Anna 🙂

Published by DragonflyRose

I was born in California, spent my childhood in Colorado, grew up in Washington, and now live in Maine with my boyfriend, son, daughter, dog, and cat! I hope to inspire and keep growing!

One thought on “Meeting Family

  1. I am so very happy and proud for you!!!!! I know that you have wished for this for a very long time and now that it is finally here, I wish I could be there to share with you. Please keep letting us know how things are going. We love you very much! By the way, I’ve been working on your ancestry again. Maybe Darius can help some with the gaps I’m having. Will fill you in later:) Let them all know we say “Howdy and hope to get to meet them soon”. So so happy!!!!! doing my happy dance for you!!! Love ya,Momma

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