I have been thinking a lot about relationships lately. All kinds of relationships but with my wedding right around the corner I have been thinking a lot about romantic relationships between people. I used to believe that two people needed to be whole before a relationship could last, but I am finding that this just isn’t true. When you find someone that makes life feel complete, feel whole, this is the want I have always seeked out. At the same time I am witnessing what will happen when that hole is once again a part of your life. A recent loss in our family has made this whole experience joyous, but heart wrenchingly sad at the same time. I wish I had a magick wand that I could wave and bring him back, well and whole, because I want to see him again but mostly to heal her heart. I know her tears will lessen and she will once again be able to ‘carry on’ again, but she will forever have a deep rooted scar that will never heal. She lost the other part of herself. This pain scares me, scares me to death. Some day I might be in her situation, or he might be. I used to think that this kind of pain wasn’t worth it, but the truth is that it is. I see her in pain but I also get to hear stories of the amazing life they had together, the magickal love they shared. It makes the pain worth it. As I am a couple weeks away from marrying a man whom fits my soul like a key to a lock, I can’t wait for the next chapter of our lives. We are moving to Maine come June, which was only more solidified with the news that our landlady is selling the house we are renting come Summer. I am scared, but excited. I have no delusions anymore about finding a love/life like the movies or books. These aren’t real, I am joyously happy that I have a real life, a real relationship, and a man that completes me. A man I love so deeply and that I get to spend the rest of my days with. Sure we will have bad days, it’s life, it’s how we talk, handle, and deal with every situation that matters. I still have my head in the clouds but I feel more leveled and more realistic. Funny, I almost prefer all the fights we had in the beginning… Taught us how to communicate with each other, and to love each other more deeply. I have loved and lost here in Kansas, I can’t wait to start our new life. Whoever says that moving doesn’t change anything, change your life, perspectives, etc… Has never truly moved and traveled. I will take the lessons from the pain here and keep the love and memories forever.

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