I wish I could explain how much anger and frustration hurts me,
How it breaks me down into some hollow shell of a being,
How it turns my heart black.
I wish I could explain the way my heart breaks when my children don’t want me around,
Or my very presence seems to annoy them.
I wish I could explain.
I wish you could see and feel through my heart and soul.
Today, I just want to run away from all of it.
There is more anger and frustration here than love at times,
And it is too heavy to carry.
I wish I could explain how the years of trying to make everyone happy,
every single day,
has worn me to the point of unhappiness.
I wish I could explain that I know it is of my own doing.
But the explanations have become exhausting,
I am so very tired,
And I have been reduced to nothing more than this hollow empty shell.